Jewish haiku

Lacking fins or tail

The gefilte fish swims with

Great difficulty.

*****

Beyond Valium,

Peace is knowing one's child

Is an internist.

*****

On Passover we

Opened the door for Elijah

Now our cat is gone.

*****

Her lips near my ear,

Aunt Sadie whispers the name

Of her friend's disease.

*****

Today I am a man.

Tomorrow I will return

To the seventh grade.

*****

Testing the warm milk

On her wrist, she sighs softly.

But her son is forty.

*****

The sparkling blue sea

Reminds me to wait an hour

After my sandwich.

*****

Like a bonsai tree,

Is your terrible posture

At my dinner table.

*****

The same kimono

The top geishas are wearing:

I got it at Loehmann's.

*****

Mom, please! There is no

Need to put that dinner roll

In your pocketbook.

*****

Seven-foot Jews in

The NBA slam-dunking!

My alarm clock rings.

*****

Sorry I'm not home

To take your call. At the tone

Please state your bad news.

*****

Is one Nobel Prize

So much to ask from a child

After all I've done?

*****

Quietly murmured

At Saturday Synagogue services,

Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

*****

A lovely nose ring,

Excuse me while I put my

Head in the oven.

****

Hard to tell under the lights.

White Yarmulke or

Male-pattern baldness

[h/t RichL]

Comments

[Mike W]

I'm always weary of tall piggy tales http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/hogzilla.asp

[jkas]

http://www.monsterpig.com/ Monster Pig!!

[Mike W]

There's some photoshopping going on between the photo they released where the real pig looks 10x the size of the other pig holding the gun, and the most recent official picture they've released:

original

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/hogzilla.asp

latest

http://www.monsterpig.com/New_Folder/jamison2.jpg