Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.
Michael Jackson's family have requested he be melted down and made into toys so the kids can play with him for a change.
Reports of Michael Jackson suffering a cardiac arrest are incorrect. He was found in the childrens ward having a stroke
What are McMahon, MJ and Farrah Faucett waiting for on the 4th of July? Patrick Swayze.
Jockeys at Belmont are going to wear black armbands out of respect for
Michael Jackson who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone in living
Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since Macauley Culkin's 10 year old birthday party.
Reports suggest that Michael Jackson's heart attack was brought on by him choking on a small bone.
Breaking News: Michael Jackson didn't die of a heart attack, it was an allergic reaction to 12 year old nuts.
the difference between Jacko and Disney films? Disney films can still touch children.
There may still be hope of bringing him back! Apparently they've sent one of the Charlies Angels in after him!
All of Michael Jackson's dates are now cancelled, including Simon and Ryan aged 5 and 9.
Apparently Michael Jackson died falling over a pram, a police spokesman said it's too early to determine cause of death but don't blame it on the buggy
And finally, Michael Jackson's new song is out this week: "R I P, easy as 1 2 3"