In case you
needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods....... [h/t havoc bunny]
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Einstein dies and goes to
heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you
will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we
can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the
Einstein says that this
is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So
the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all
of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first roommate. He has an
IQ of 180!""That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss
"And here is your
second roommate. His IQ is 150!"
wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
"And here is your
third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"
Just then another man
moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last roommate
and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him
and says, "So, where do you think stock markets are headed?"