The President has recently created the position of Golf Czar. This new official will promulgate major rules changes in the game of golf, which will become effective at 6:00 a.m. Washington DC time on the morning following the first full moon after Inauguration Day 2013.
The following is only a preview as the USGA/R&A rule book is being superceded for U.S. play (expect a minimum of 2716 pages, not counting appendices, indexes, and illustrations).
Here are a few of the changes:
1. Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
2. The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
3. In addition, a golfer will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.
Any excess pars/birdies must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again .
4. The current USGA handicap system will be used, but "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. To "re-distribute" the success of winning, in all competitions every player above an 18 handicap will post only "net score" whereas players whose handicap is 18 or less must post "gross score".
Feherty is a Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind...... Probably always on time delay these days.
“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”
“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”
“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”
“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head.”
Jim Furyk’s swing - “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”
“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the cheeks of his ass and out popped $500.”
Describing VJ's prodigious practice regime - "VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."
"That's a great shot with that swing."
"It's OK - the bunker stopped it."
At Augusta 2011 - "It's just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it."
"That was a great shot - if they'd put the pin there today."
"Everything moves except his bowels."
"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."
"That green appears smaller than a Pygmie's nipple".
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also see Chapter 8) Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 5 annex- Is it best to beat the caddy with a 8 iron or sand wedge Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m. Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the > Water Chapter 10- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee Chapter 11- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent Chapter 12 - When to Re-Grip Your Ball Retriever