A man walks up to a woman and asks, "Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?" She quickly replies, "Yes." So then he asks, "Would you sleep with me for $20?" Astounded by the question she says, "Of course not. What kind of woman do you think I am?" He says, "Well we've already determined that. Now I'm just working on the price."
Even if it's not common to fail to recall details of traumatic events, which it is, I think you have to give Brian Williams a break - that guy has seen more crazy stuff in his career than just about anyone in America. It's not tragic that he was in the helicopter behind the one that took RPG fire or saw a dead Katrina victim floating in water rather than lying in a gutter. The real tragedy is that we were bullshitted into a dumb war with lies about future nuclear attacks on the US and that the White House thought they did a heck-of-a-job when a major US city was wiped out by a storm.
Four U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado that hits a state funeral they're all attending and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
"What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage." "No problem!" says the Wizard. "Who is next?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well…I…I think I need a heart." "Done," says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"
Up steps George W. Bush, who says, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain." "Not a problem!" says the Wizard. "Consider it done." There is a great silence in the hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "What do you want?" "Ummm," he says quietly, "is Dorothy around?"
Former President Bush and VP Cheney are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?'
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'
So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?'
Bush says, 'We're planning WW III.'
The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'
Cheney says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.'
The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?'
Cheney turns to Bush and says,
'See, I told you, no one gives a shit about the 140 million Muslims.