Most men – average men – can only begin enjoying life at age 29 the way women do at age 19 because it takes them that long to gain the resources women find attractive. The point in life where men’s and women’s access intersect is the marriage zone. She has to get him to commit in that zone before he realizes that his life is really just starting. My recommendation: she’s enjoyed her “wild and free” days, so avoid marriage and go enjoy yours. Travel. Sex up a variety of women. Explore your hobby now that you have both the time and resources to do so. In short, live life with the access of a carefree 19 year old party girl.
Ages 15 to 19: The chart starts at age 15. Here women are at an access level of 8, which means they can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want. By the time she’s 19 and has a fake ID, she soars up to a 10 which means the world is her oyster. Your average man in this same category is lucky if he gets a blowjob from the ugly chick in 2nd period, and feels truly fortunate if he can keep a steady girlfriend and get laid on a semi regular basis.
Ages 20 to 25: Women are at their peak during most of this time, and even though their access starts to decline, it declines only because they themselves are being more selective while staging for marriage. Men during this time are steadily learning how to deal with women and are increasing their earning potential, so things are getting slowly better. Still, they haven’t reached the level of access that their female counterparts have enjoyed since age 15.
Age 26 to 28: This is the start of the marriage zone. Women’s clocks are ticking, and men have finally turned a job into a career. Though women’s access is still at a very high 8, she notices the men around her have more choices. They’ve reached an access level of 7 and are steadily rising. Though she gets roughly the same amount of attention from men that she used to, she notices the men are far less likely to catch oneitis in her presence. Men are getting smarter and they have more options because of their increased access. She has to get him to commit as soon as possible before he realizes just how numerous his options really are.
Age 29 to 30: This is a superb time for men to be alive. The tables have now turned. She’s finally learned that while finding dick takes very little effort, finding *committed* dick isn’t as easy as she was told it would be. Even though she screwed up in the marriage zone and wasn’t able to secure a partner, she’s going to stay on the prowl and be “in it to win it”.
Age 31 and up: As her sexual and marriage market value slowly decreases, so does her access to committed dick. Meanwhile, the men who were smart enough to avoid her in the marriage zone have a long and happy life ahead of them. Even at age 40 – if they are successful and have stayed in shape – these men can find a 28 year old woman to bear their children if they want. The men have nothing to lose. The women continue to slowly decline until they settle for a beta or convince themselves that being a career woman in Cougarville was really what they wanted all along.
After men avoid the marriage zone, their access soars. They can enjoy a series of fulfilling monogamous relationships with women who are on their best behavior since they’re desperately trying to get married, and fill in the time in between these relationships by banging easy targets such as single mothers, divorcees, and rabid feminists who are second guessing their decisions.
So gentlemen, stay in shape. Focus on your career, build a stable financial portfolio, and keep your access soaring. If you absolutely must have a child, do it in your late 30’s or early 40’s with a hot little number in her 20’s. It can happen. If you’re like me and children aren’t in your future, the possibilities are endless.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a
mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became
aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged
from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were
able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of the person you love. I have concluded
that your act displays sound mindedness”.
"The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his
bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, “He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry”.
The President has recently created the position of Golf Czar. This new official will promulgate major rules changes in the game of golf, which will become effective at 6:00 a.m. Washington DC time on the morning following the first full moon after Inauguration Day 2013.
The following is only a preview as the USGA/R&A rule book is being superceded for U.S. play (expect a minimum of 2716 pages, not counting appendices, indexes, and illustrations).
Here are a few of the changes:
1. Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
2. The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
3. In addition, a golfer will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.
Any excess pars/birdies must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again .
4. The current USGA handicap system will be used, but "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. To "re-distribute" the success of winning, in all competitions every player above an 18 handicap will post only "net score" whereas players whose handicap is 18 or less must post "gross score".