BP captured more than 8,000 barrels of oil Saturday--about a third less
than on Thursday--after restarting a drillship that had been shut down
Friday night. BP said the return to full capacity will be cautious. wsj
named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Wyoming
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust..
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and
YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,
where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here
even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't
know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that
matter. This is a herd of sheep...
Now give me back my dog.
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his
limousine when he saw two men along the road- side eating
grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stopand he got out to investigate. He asked
one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food,"
the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can
come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I
have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that
tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the
other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also." The second man, in
a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with
me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all
entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine
was. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and
said, "Sir, you are too kind." "Thank you for taking all of us with
you. The lawyer
replied, "Glad to do it. "You'll really love my place. "The grass
is almost a foot high"
during his first campaign for mayor, Michael R. Bloomberg was asked by New York
magazine if he had ever used marijuana. “You bet I did,” he
replied. “And I enjoyed it.”
Bloomberg may have been the first major city candidate to acknowledge using
pot, but as mayor he has led a sweeping expansion of arrests, according to a
recent study by Harry G. Levine, a sociology professor at Queens College. During
Mr. Bloomberg’s first two terms in office, the lowest-level marijuana
arrests were up, on average, by 50 percent over when his predecessor, Rudolph
Giuliani, was in office. […]
The mayor’s office said on Tuesday that it could not estimate the
cost of such arrests. Mr. Levine, drawing on studies done in other cities,
estimated that they could range from $53 million to $88 million annually.
per Hicks; alcohol is a worse drug than pot , fact.